Scrap-When??

As it explains in my Title for my blog- I am indeed a Scrapbooker. Or at least I was at one time in my life. Before Charlie turned one, I decided it would be neat to have his first year scrapbook on display at his party. So for four months leading up to the big day, I did NOTHING but scrapbook. I worked and worked and worked. Often to the detriment of my house and sometimes my sweet fussing Charlie himself. But-- I did it!! I had that book finished and proudly on display at his first birthday party.

And then I thought I'd take a little break. After all, we hadn't seen the top of our kitchen table in months, I was seeing a way to cut and decorate almost EVERY surface and design I came across, I would lie in bed at night and search my mind for a way to finish that one page, and I needed more adult conversation. Maybe I'd read a book. Just think of what I could do with all those hours!

It is now almost 6 years later. And except for a few special projects here and there- for other people- I have yet to pick up the hobby I am so incredible passionate about. Get this- I am now 6 years behind on Charlie's books, almost 5 years behind on Madeline's books (not even having begun), and of couse one year behind on Caroline's. Oh, there were a few pages of Charlie's second year, and the beginning of one of Madeline's baby showers, but THAT'S IT! And every summer I think- "This is it! I will get out my scrapbooking and I will work all summer and get caught up!" Usually this is interrupted with either guests in our home, trips taken, or impending babies. And with each failed attempt the weight on my shoulders gets heavier and heavier.

It would be different if I were one of those moms that could just put the pictures in photo albums and give them dates and let that be that (no offense, Mandy!). I ALMOST wish I were one of those moms. And there is nothing wrong with being one of those moms- they are certainly under a lot less pressure and stress than I am, not to mention much more organized. But here's the thing. Ever since I was very young, I have loved paper. I used to collect stationary (really- just ask my mom!). I couldn't get enough of it. And then I didn't want to use it all because I liked it so much, so if I got down to the last sheet of it, I would keep it stashed away in a safe place. I would go into paper stores back then and go nuts and want it all. And this was 20-some-odd years ago. So you can only imagine what walking into a scrapbooking store does to me now. There is something about finding the perfect sheet of paper to highlight my precious photos- and did I mention I also collected stickers whe I was little? In books and binders and on folders, and I traded them and horded them. So again, the lure of a scrapbooking store! Not to mention all the other embellishments they have come out with in the last 20 years. I am hopeless!

So when I actually see my precious babes on a page that brings out their personality and tells a story that may not otherwise be told, it is such a treasure. There are things about Charlie's first year that I cannot even remember, but when we break out that book together we have so much joy looking at it together. And someday his wife will have such a treasure (If I can give it up!) And I know that my photos are on archival safe papers and in binders that will keep them their true colors forever. Even my husband must admit it's mice to pull out those books once in a while- and he does!

So here is my pledge. To my family, to my friends, to my kids, to whomever visits our home, and to you who are gracious enought to read my blog- this summer I will have my scrapbooking endeavour out on our dining room table indefinitely. Our meals will be eaten at the kitchen table, guests can use TV trays, and there will be NO impending babies! I will start with the most recent and move backwards from there. I will use all my birthday money for supplies. And I will take any donations of printer ink and picture paper for all the printing of pictures that will ensue. Please keep me accountable!

So in honor of the occasion, here are only a few of my favorites from Charlie's first 6 months book (yes, I had to divide his book into two!) Pardon the flashes and Caroline's hands- that's her saying, "I want my book, too!"

This is my absolute favorite picture of Charlie. And I saw this layout done in a scrapbook magazine. I personalized it with the caption "God's Child" because that is what the frame this picture is in has on italong with the bow.

This is Charlie's first Easter. He was only 4 days old and I was high on painkillers, but I was setermined to go to church. Afterwards, my Sister-in-Law, Sharon put b&w film in her camera and this was the result. Her is what I wrote:

"Easter Blessing"

Even thought you weren't born exactly on Easter, I still consider you my Easter Blessing. Easter has been a special day for me ever since I was a little girl. I always loved getting a new dress and new shoes and feeling so pretty Easter Sunday. That is why it was so important to me that you go to church on your first Easter Sunday. I looked and looked for the perfect Easter outfit for you before you were born and found a baby blue pants set with trains embroidered on it. It also had a cap and blanket to match. Mo and Opa brought it to you for this very special day. It was perfect!

This is my first Mother's Day. The journaling reads, "I couldn't believe that I actually got to celebrate my first Mother's Day. God gave you to us and you made me a mother. I hope that I can always live up to that title. I know I will make mistakes, and I know the day will come that you may not feel as close to me as you do now, but always know you are my son, my firstborn, my "Sweetest Boy," my baby. I love you with all my heart and I always will."

This is a layout of Charlie's great-grandparents, two of which have gone to be with the Lord. Win in the first picture, and Granny in the middle have since passed and never even got to see Caroline. So these pictures are priceless to me.

Don't know if you wanted to have such a long ramblings-on about scrapbooking, but consider it my pledge to continue with my passion. Moms don't make enough time for their own passions do they? So really- keep me accountable!!

Remembering Debbie

I know I often talk about our sweet friend Debbie. But it's because she is so greatly missed by our family. Thursday was the one year anniversary of her homegoing to the Lord. And so I have to pay homage to her here once again. It's not very often in your life that God places you in the path of someone who personifies His very face. Debbie certainly was such a person. She was such a bright light in our lives, and everything she did and said came from her love for the Lord. When we first met Debbie, she was just on the cusp of finding out she had cancer. And from the very first, she handled every difficulty that came her way with a dignity and a trust in the Lord that I'm not sure I could ever have. She taught me so many things, among them- how to be a prayer warrior. She taught me that prayer is so important and would always tell me she was praying for me. And that I could call her any time and let her know my troubles so that she could pray. I, in turn, learned to pray for her. I am sorry to say that I haven't lived up to her example, but I'm not sure that's possible. She never complained for complaining's sake, she never let it show on her face how much pain she was in or how bad she felt. When she was sick, she said playing with her "babies" made her feel better. When her hair fell out, she showed Charlie and Madeline how her new hair "fell off." When the end came nearer, and I was pregnant with Caroline, she said with certainty that she would "see that baby." And she did. When we would talk about the end, she said she was sad but also excited- "I get to see Jesus!" Grace, Faith, Love, Trust, Dignity. These are the things I think of when I think of Debbie. And of course my selfishness in how very much I miss her. I long to hug her neck and savor her scent. I long to hear an "I love you so much!" I long to see her face light up when she sees my kids, and I long to watch her excitement at watching Caroline's firsts. But God gets to have her now. And I'm jealous. But I know that it's right, and I have Debbie to thank for that as well.

Anniversaries

Anniversaries are a funny thing. Most of the time when you think of anniversaries, you think of the anniversary of a first kiss, getting engaged, your wedding, beginning a new job, or moving to a new house. But sometimes anniversaries are not of happy things. This week's anniversary is one such anniversary. Today's anniversary is of the day my Angel Baby Caroline met Ms. Debbie. We were released from the hospital Tuesday morning, March 4 and raced over to Hospice to see Debbie. I spoke to her and told her we were there. Her daughter Ashley helped me take Caroline and place her right up against Debbie's cheek and also place Debbie's arms around her so as to "hold" her. Caroline "rooted" on Debbie's cheek and Debbie raised her head in response. Sweet little kisses. We know she knew Caroline was there. She always said she would "see that baby." And the Lord let her live long enough to do just that. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I promised Debbie I would never let Charlie and Madeline forget her, and we would always tell Caroline of her. And that I loved her so much. It was the last time I saw and spoke to her. This day's anniversary, while leading up to Debbie's death, is still a special one because the Lord allowed Debbie to meet Caroline. He always works things for our good, doesn't He?

Sweet Baby Birthdays

Here is my precious Angel Baby Caroline on her first birthday. I can't believe she is one today. It seems like just yesterday that I gave birth to her. How can a year go by so quickly while so many things happen in that short amount of time? She is such a joy to us and to her brother and sister and our family and friends. She is a cuddler, she laughs, she loves anything with apples in it, and Ritz crackers are her favorite snack. She loves playing Peek-A-Boo, and raising her arms to show us "How big is Caroline?" She crawls at the speed of light when she hears the bath water running, and she loves her paci, blankie and nummies when it's time to sleep. She loves when her brother rolls with her on the floor, and when her sister helps mom sing "If all the raindrops were lemondrops and gumdrops..." She loves to dance and is walking better and better every day- even learning how to walk in shoes now. She loves to stand at the back door and watch through the window as her brother and sister play outside. She loves Baby Einstein and Baby Praise videos, and unfortunately, she loves the toilet. She wants so badly to be included in playing with her brother and sister, sometimes much to their dismay. And today, we discovered that she loves chocolate ice cream.

If only time could slow. If only the minutes would seem more like hours and the hours more like days. When it comes to our kids, it seems that we go through life at warp speed only to find that we feel like we missed it. Have I "stopped to smell the roses" enough over the past year? Can I continue to do that with her, knowing that she is our last baby and that each moment with her is so precious? And when she is older like her brother and sister and the "firsts" are over and the chubbiness is gone, will I still be able to remember her the way she is now, at this very minute? And will I find, as I have with them, that the same exact thing is happening? That I am going through life at warp speed and feeling like I'm missing something? So, Lord, on this Caroline's first birthday, let me never take time with my kids for granted. Help me make each minute count for something. Help me be patient and loving and kind. Help me make memories that will last forever. Help me remember that you have entrusted them to us to make an eternal difference. Use us as parents to help shape them into who you want them to be. And thank you for our three precious babes.

Mom's Beauty Shop

I know I have a lot of catching up to do- AGAIN- but here is a recent big even in our house. Caroline's first haircut. I hesitated for so long because I could not bring myself to cut those curls. But when the back of her hair is reaching the middle of her back and the hair on top of her head MAY be an inch long- there's a problem. So in order for it to get caught up, I cut it off.

You can see how far down her back it went compared to the rest of her head. Like she had two different heads of hair!!

There! All straight across the bottom! It is actually much thicker now and hopefully will grow into a much better shape. Unfortunately, it made her look older, too!!

"Barack Obama"

My 4-year-old comes home from Pre-K yesterday and says excitedly, "Mom! Do you know what tomorrow is?" "What?" I ask back just as excitedly. "Someone moves out of the White House, and Barack Obama moves into the White House!"

Yikes! While I probably should have taken time at home with my kids to explain what is going on in our nation, I have not yet done so at any length. So when Madeline came in with this exciting news, I was floored. My 4-year-old jsut said the words "Barack Obama." It just sounded so wierd coming from her. She went on to say that they were going to "watch the movie of it" tomorrow at school. I was also aware that she did not say George Bush's name. So we had a little lesson right there in our kitchen.

It is not lost on me that today is a huge day in the history of our country. The nation has elected the first African-American President. That is such a big deal for so many people. And even though he wouldn't have been MY choice for President, the fact remains that he is now MY President. And as such I am called to pray for him and support him in that role. While it is hard for me to see the excitement on Madeline's face whenever she sees Barack Obama, I cannot let my thoughts and feelings on the subject seep through. I must teach my kids what the Bible teaches us. We are to pray for our leaders.

Turbo School

Mom: (Excitedly) "Since you and Dad have Super School, you and Mom are going to have "MEGA School!"

Charlie: "Well, actually, me and Dad have Super-Charged Turbo School."

Mom: (Heart sinks)

I guess I knew the day would come when my Sweetest Boy would identify more with his dad, but he's only 6! Do I have to let go so soon? Thankfully "Super-Charged Turbo Dad" was able to convince Charlie that he could have Mega School with Mom. Gee, Thanks!! Sigh.... Letting go little by little over the years ...... This is only the beginning..........