Saturday, May 16, 2009

Missing my Hubby...Remembering Debbie

So this weekend my sweet Daviss in in the Virgin Islands. St. Croix to be exact. And of course, my Angel Baby Caroline could just not permit me to go along- not to mention my fear of flying (an understatement). The reason he is there is to officiate the beach destination wedding of our Miss Debbie's daughter, Ashley. It hurts my heart to not be there, but I know that she is having a wonderful wedding and I am so happy for her.

Missing my hubby to me means that things just aren't quite the same here without him. My world seems to be slightly off-kilter. Food doesn't taste the same, TV isn't as fun to watch, I don't sleep as well, I don't get very much adult conversation, and I have no one to turn to and say, "It's YOUR turn," when the kids are yelling and fighting yet again. As some of you know, this particular time has been much worse than before when he has been gone, and God has chosen for some reason to test me in ways that I didn't think I was prepared for. But I was wrong. I have learned that God has His own plans and who am I to argue? Bottom line is that while sometimes it is nice to have some time to myself in my marrriage, it is even better to be with my hubby.

As for remembering Debbie, I had a wonderful dream last night which was the night before Ashley's wedding. I walked into a room and there was Debbie as alive as ever staring at me. I ran to her and we held each other and sobbed and sobbed. I cannot tell you how real this dream was. I could see her, feel her, smell her, and hear her telling me she loved me. I showed her our Angel Baby Caroline and we talked and I realized that she hadn't died at all, but had gone away so that her loved ones wouldn't have to see her suffer. I woke up soon after and of course realized it wasn't real, but I still feel like God gave me a glimpse of her- my "fix" I guess. I had been praying the last few days for something to happen for Ashley while she was in St. Croix. I hope she has felt Debbie's presence the way I did. I know Debbie is smiling down on her as proud as she can be.

1 comment:

Lisa @ The Preacher's Wife said...

I hate being away from my hubby so I totally understand this! I got you added to the ministry blogroll. Thanks for being patient as I updated!