Tuesday, March 25, 2008

In Memory of Debbie

I have to post these pictures again and share a little of what Debbie Dennis means to me and to our family. On March 5, Deborah Ann Dennis lost her 6-year battle with cancer and went to be with Jesus. Words cannot express the depth of love and appreciation we have for her and how blessed we feel for having had her in our lives. She was an amazing woman of God and was a prayer warrior for anyone who had crossed paths with her. She was a friend and a confidante, "Nocona grandmother" to my kids known as "Miss Debbie," and my "Nocona mom." I could go to her about anything and be assured and reassured of God's faithfulness, and know that my concerns would be prayed over. We held nothing back and I am comforted by that now. Never a conversation went by that we didn't say "I love you." She babysat Charlie and Madeline and that made her so happy. She even came to play when she didn't feel well. She took care of them, gave them her love and talked to them about God. She shared her life with theirs and ours. They looked forward to seeing her and often asked about her. They kept her in their prayers, and even in the last months when they couldn't see her as much, they would say they missed her. Explaining to them that Miss Debbie went to be with Jesus was so bittersweet. Miss Debbie is happy and well, we told them, but it's ok for us to be sad that we won't see her anymore. I will never let them forget her and I told her that when I saw her the day before she died.

That is the story that I want to tell. The day Caroline was born, Debbie went to the emergency room. They quickly sent her to hospice and said she may not even make it through the night. Her neice, Mandy came to film Caroline and the kids and us so that Debbie could see. She was able to see Caroline on video and comment on her chubby cheeks. She was still alert at this time and I was able to talk to her on the phone that night. She was in and out because of the Morphine, but the "I love you's" were very audible. For the next three days, I was too sick to go see her, and I prayed that she would hang on, but not suffer. We went straight to Hospice when we were released Tuesday morning, and Debbie had taken a turn for the worse. As she lay in the bed holding hands with her kids, I went to her and told her I was there. I told her how much I loved her and then placed Caroline near her chest with her cheek against Debbie's. I told her Caroline was there and she moved her head side to side and lifted her hands. Her daughter, Ashley, helped Debbie place her hand under Caroline to hold her and to touch her feet which were hanging out of her gown. Caroline nuzzled Debbie's cheek as if she were giving her kisses. I told her she said she would see Caroline and here she was and God was so good. I said that I would always tell Caroline about her and that Charlie and Madeline would as well. I told her I would call Caroline my angel because of Debbie and God's timing. It was the most beautiful moment. I just know she knew we were there and that it brought her happiness. I still feel like Debbie went away and left Caroline here with us. I know the timing of her birth was God allowing Debbie to be able to see her and feel her because if it had been any later, this moment would not have happened. Debbie died the next dayat 11:30am. Every time I feel or kiss Caroline's cheek, I think of Debbie and this moment. It will stay with me forever.

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